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When you first see your child go on a date then it easy to feel sorry for them, remembering how nervous they must be and how little experience they have, how confused they will get as they learn. As parents then we get almost as nervous as them! We worry about how it will go, if they will mess it up, if they will have a great time and then spend less time at home. You need to sit them down though and take them through the basics, as they will start dating whether we like it not so we need to get over our fears sometime. Obviously any first date will probably be done with some form of chaperone. Even if you don't feel the need to "keep an eye on them", if they cannot drive, someone has to drive them to the event and pick them up again. So if your young man is planning the date, that has to be part of the arrangements. One of the most important words of advice you can give as friend, parent or elder advisor to a nervous young guy just going into the world of romance is that she is as nervous as he is and that there are no real expectations on that first date. If he can just plan an outing with the girl of his dreams that they both enjoy and come out of it friends, he will have had a good date. Group outings are terrific starter dates for young daters. Not only do they work well because someone probably has an event that everyone can do but both of the kids feel safer with mutual friends. But both of the novice daters should keep in mind that on the date, he is there with her and she is there with him. It is very easy for both kids to wander off with their friend group and the entire atmosphere of a "date" can disappear pretty quickly. He may be wary of a group date because he thinks that other children will try to steal his date away from him. First of all reassure him that if she is interested in him and he is paying attention to her during the date then he should not need to worry about that. Then tell him that one trick to get people to stay away is to give her something that she will wear which will show people that she is interested in him. Try a flower for her hair, a bracelet etc, just something simple and inexpensive, she will be pleased to receive a present and if she wears it then everyone will know she is his date. Maybe he still wants to go with just her, well to relieve some of the pressure he can try different activities that will take away some of the need to find things to say. If he takes her for a bite to eat and then a movie he will be doing something together and giving them both something to talk about and do together, but without having the whole date filled with them trying to talk about stuff. Or maybe bowling, this gives them both something to focus on and a bit of competition as well which is a great way to break the ice. It may be better for the young novice daters to learn the ups and downs of being together before they take on going out to dinner and the more advanced subjects of the sport of dating. If they go somewhere that there is food like a food court at the theater or mall, he can be a big man and buy her dinner without having to deal with restaurant etiquette. The young man should be also be taught that at the end of the first date he should be a perfect gentleman and walk her all the way home. He should understand that he does not need to get a kiss to have a good date, that all women are different and he will offend her if he tries to force a kiss. Tell him to watch for signs that she wants to kiss him on the cheek or give him a hug etc, no doubt her parents will be watching from inside so tell him he doesn't want to upset them on the first date! Once they have been out once then they can start to relax and romance will blossom, then he will be satisfied that she likes him and they can start to turn into lovesick teenagers, it is just that very first date he needs to master if he wants to start a lasting relationship.
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